Going through a breakup can be a very traumatic thing - particularly, if you have been dumped by your ex.
As feelings of anxiety, hopelessness, and despair overwhelm you, it's often difficult to think rationally and to do the right thing.
If you're like most people, you're probably fighting an overwhelming urge to contact your former partner right now in an effort to reconcile.
What you need to realize is that these urges are driven by pure emotion.
Deep down, you probably realize that pestering your ex is only going to make things worse, but you feel compelled to contact them anyway.
So, what do you have to gain by talking to them? Not a whole lot, really.
In fact, each time you give in and call or text, you are giving them more power over you, and in the process, you are losing self-respect.
Ever notice how bad you feel after you've contacted your ex - especially if they completely shut you down?It's like a drug addict going after one last fix and realizing that it's not as good as they thought it would be - in fact, it's causing much more harm than good.
Not a great feeling, that's for sure.
So why can't you talk them around? Well, whether you realize it or not, you are playing a psychological game in which you have absolutely no hope of winning.
Your ex partner will have such an advantage over you that there is no hope of ever coming out of this with your integrity intact - let alone, convincing your ex that the relationship is worth saving.
They know it, and you know it.
At this point, your life can go in one of two directions.
You can continue to lower yourself by contacting your ex (and slowly increase the contempt they feel for you), or you can pick yourself up and explore your other options.
Giving your ex some space and putting an end to the harassment is a good start.
Give them some breathing room and do your own thing for a while.
If you choose option one, be prepared to lose whatever self-respect you have left.
And if you think there is any chance that you can "talk" your way back into their life, you're kidding yourself.
If you choose option two, you can be content in the fact that you are doing the right thing.
Almost immediately, you'll notice a boost in your self-esteem and you won't feel as helpless.
Most likely, you'll also notice that the psychological tables have turned and you now have a little more clout than you did before.
If you do this right, your ex might even make a move and contact you.
Bottom line: If you ever want to have another chance at this relationship, option two is your only hope.
There is no guarantee, but if there is a chance, this is the only way to go.