Family & Relationships Conflict

How to Leave a Ten Year Relationship With a Girl

    • 1). Choose the proper time. It may seem tempting to exit the relationship as quickly as possible. While you don't want to lead your girl along and delay the inevitable, it is also appropriate to consider the timing of your breakup. If you are nearing a holiday or her birthday, for example, the gentlemanly thing to do is wait for a more appropriate time.

    • 2). Break it off respectfully. The end of your relationship doesn't have to be a fireworks display of pent up emotion. As you end the relationship, attempt to do so without incident, avoiding getting into an argument about everything that either of you has ever done wrong, but instead making it clear to her that you feel that the relationship has run its course and, as a result, should end.

    • 3). Give her reasons for the breakup. If you fail to tell the girl you once loved why you are ending things, she may spend many sleepless nights wondering just what she did wrong. To prevent her from having to endure this emotional distress, give her, as gently as possible, some specific reasons why.

    • 4). Avoid debate. If the girl with whom you are ending things was committed to your relationship, she may be eager to try to save it. Try to prevent here from debating the merits of your relationship or making promises that she can't keep ----- such as promising to change something that you know she can't --- by telling her that you have made your decision and that you aren't going to waver. While she may not like this response, it will likely help her move on more quickly.

    • 5). Discuss the relationship you hope to have in the future. In all likelihood, you are not going to simply stop talking to this girl with whom you have had such a lengthy love affair. As your relationship draws to a close, talk about the friendship you hope to form, if you hope to form one. If necessary, set boundaries such as calling times to help you both get used to this new setup.

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