No matter who you are, no doubt that at some point in your life, you have been through a breakup.
A breakup is a strange thing.
No matter how many times you go through a breakup, they never become any easier to go through.
Unless the relationship was a total disaster, after a breakup most people want to get their ex back.
Even if the relationship was bad, some people still want to get their ex back.
Many relationships are extramarital, or verbally or physically abusive.
These are not healthy relationships to be in.
If you were in such a relationship, and you broke up, then it could be the best thing that has ever happened to you.
Ruling out the bad relationship scenario, most other relationships follow a predictable pattern.
When you first meet someone, everything about that person is great, and the new love is exciting.
After a while, couples tend to get more comfortable with each other, and the cracks start to appear.
Many of the little things that one person does and has done all along, now start to bother the other person.
You may have heard before that "Familiarity breeds contempt".
You see it every day.
After a couple has been together for some time, then some trouble starts.
This tests the strength of the relationship.
A lasting relationship takes work and effort, give and take.
Sometimes when the relationship is strained, instead of working things out with the other person, the person decides to get out of the relationship completely.
If you think your relationship is worth saving, then you need some answers on how to get your ex back.
Even if things appear totally over, apply these 4 steps and win back your ex.
- Apologize - One of the best methods to get your ex back is to say you are sorry.
It is usually the best first step to get some dialogue going.
But be sure that your say you are sorry for the right reasons.
Don't blame yourself for everything.
It takes two to have a successful relationship.
Know exactly what you are apologizing for, and do not apologize for anything over and above that.
When you apologize, under no circumstances should you let it become an argument.
Sadly when you apologize, it may lead to an unwarranted attack.
If your ex tries to escalate the conversation, stay calm, keep your emotions in check, and do not get defensive.
- Sit down and talk things out - When your ex agrees to it, set a time where you both can sit down in a quiet atmosphere and talk things out.
Do Not beg, cry, plead, shame, or force your ex to this meeting under any circumstances.
When they agree to the meeting, make sure you keep your emotions in check, and do not let things escalate into a fight.
Make it clear to your ex that you do not want to bring who is to blame into the discussion.
Talk about issues surrounding your relationship in a mature manner.
Talk about the issues without placing blame on either party.
This will achieve better results.
What is even better is if you can get a therapist or an expert in the field of relationships involved with your meeting.
- Give your Ex some space - This goes against everything you are feeling in how to get your ex back.
But you have to remember that they left for a reason, and they may not want to see you right now.
Making a pest of yourself will drive them away.
Absence does make the heart grow fonder.
The time apart will give both of you time to cool down and give them a chance to miss you.
- Show pride in yourself - No matter what you do, go out and live your life.
Do not sit around waiting for the phone to ring and checking your email every 5 minutes just hoping that they contact you.
It is actually better if your ex calls and you are not there to get their call.
They'll be wondering what you are doing.
If you are out and your cell phone rings, let it go to voice mail.
Do not call them back until the next day.
When you talk, tell them you were busy, and could not get back to them until today.
Go Hang out with friends, go to the movies, shop, whatever.
Fix yourself up every day.
When you look like you have something going on in your life, they may feel like THEY are the one who is missing out.
You may be able to get them to pursue you, instead of the other way around.