Human relationships are extremely complex and can break down for a range of reasons.
When you break up with someone who's really significant to you you're bound to desperately want to figure out how to win him back.
In a situation like this you can't allow yourself to be taken over by your emotions.
You have stay calm and positive and focus on how to win back your ex.
The main thing to do is to try and step back from the situation and work out a strategy.
Here's some tips to point you in the right direction.
1.
Don't immediately throw yourself into actively trying to get your ex back - Spend some time really thinking about why the relationship broke down.
This is crucial because it will form part of your overall strategy to get your relationship back on track.
It's likely that your ex will also need some time to think; 2.
Never appear hysterical in front of your ex - No matter how distraught and hysterical you might be feeling, you have to hold it together when your ex is around.
Displays of extreme emotion are likely to be difficult for your ex to deal with and may make him feel that he is being emotionally pressurized into getting back with you.
You don't want your ex to feel sorry for you - you want him to want you back.
This means hysterics are totally out; 3.
Don't become completely obsessed with getting your ex back - Becoming too obsessed with the notion of how to win him back is likely to lead to you doing reckless and ridiculous things.
If your ex gets the impression that you have become emotionally unstable, he's not going to consider getting back with you.
You need to put your energies into other things like your existing interests or maybe start some new hobbies.
You have to give your ex the impression that you're not happy that the relationship has broken down but you're dealing with it.
This way you come across as a strong,independent person; 4.
Arrange to talk to your ex - Only arrange to talk to your ex when you are at a stage when you can control your emotions.
This conversation is so important you can't afford to blow it by becoming over- emotional.
During this conversation you have to show your ex that you have a really good insight into what went wrong in your relationship.
You also have to listen carefully to what your ex partner is saying to you.
Make it clear to him that you think that the problems that happened in your relationship can be sorted out.
If he is resistant to starting over in the relationship, don't push him.
In this conversation you are just laying down the groundwork.
You are letting your ex know that you're open to giving the relationship another chance and that you are prepared to invest a lot in resolving the problems that emerged in the relationship; 5.
Take things slowly - Even if your ex is showing signs of wanting to get back together with you - don't rush things.
Remember, relationships don't break down for no reason so you both have a lot of work to do around addressing what went wrong.
Take things slowly.
At any point in the getting back together process your ex could suddenly feel that he is being put under too much pressure and he could walk away.
To avoid this you need communicate with your ex and try and understand how he is feeling.
The main reason why you split up will be an important factor here.
You have to immediately work on this.
If your ex feels that he's walking straight back into the same problems that caused the relationship to fall apart- he's going to walk away.