So standing at the line up for the paddle boats, I was a little surprised when he asked for one particular paddle boat.
When we got organized and launched, we paddle our boat around the harbor, I looked up and saw the CN tower, it was a beautiful summer day.
He reached across and took my hand and professed his undying love and as easily as that asked me to spend the rest of my life with him! I sort of knew that we were headed that direction, but it did surprise me! Really? Yes, and the reason I was surprised? Because about six months before, he told me that was pretty much the same way he asked his first wife to marry him!! I always imagined he would use something of a little different approach this time around!! Did I say, "Yes"? Well, shortly after the proposal came a discussion about pre-nuptial agreements..
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Well, let's talk about pre-nups.
A "Pre-nup" or "Pre-nupt" is short for "Pre-nuptial Agreement" also known as a Pre-Marital Agreement or a Marriage Contract.
These are legal documents that define what will happen in the event of a breakdown of the marriage.
Usually introduced into a potential marriage when one party's assets heavily out weigh the other party's assets.
This agreement can spell out exactly how the division of assets will fall, what happens with children, child support, alimony and any other issues that the couple want pre-arranged in the event of a divorce.
A lot of countries don't recognize these agreements.
A lot of states/provinces will not support the positions taken in a pre-nup.
These agreements almost take the position that the marriage WILL fail and therefore runs counter to what a marriage really is supposed to represent.
If you are considering marriage and someone brings up the idea of a pre-arranged agreement in the event of dissolution, think long and hard before you agree to such a contract.
What are the real motivations behind this marriage, if it's not "til death do us part", then why go into it at all.
Let's say one family is wealthy and really pushing to have this agreement in place, maybe even financially persuading or threatening to withhold, and becomes a real BIG issue to get this signed.
There are five elements of a pre-nuptial contract that must be met in order for the contract to be valid: 1.
The agreement must be in writing (oral prenups are always prohibited); 2.
It must be executed voluntarily; 3.
It must have full and/or fair disclosure at the time of execution; 4.
The agreement cannot be unconscionable; 5.
It must be executed by both parties (not their attorneys) "in the manner required for a deed to be recorded", known as an acknowledgment, before a notary public.
I would recommend a couple clauses that should be included: 1.
Expires upon the birth of the first child.
In the event that a child is born, USUALLY, in couples with considerable wealth (and there wouldn't be a pre-nup if there WASN'T considerable wealth) one partner is going to stay home with the baby and may even give up HER career.
It would be reasonable to assume that partner is going to probably lose their income.
Is it fair for that one partner to lose that earning power, without some sort of recalibration with regard to their long-term financial well-being as it stands in the current pre-nup? After all, the situation has changed substantially since the original pre-nup was drawn.
2.
That a "sunset clause" be included.
After a couple has been married for five years, maybe ten, it's probably clear to everyone that this is a solid partnership, working together for the common good.
There might be children involved, shared debts and expenses, and the like.
A "gold-digger" would never have signed the agreement in the first place, and probably wouldn't hang around for five or ten years, so, there should be an expiration date attached to the document.
Otherwise, a wealthy spouse could get over-bearing, abusive or just plain tired of looking at their partner and opt for the "trade-in" option.
Many women have been traded in for the younger version and, because they signed the pre-nup, have been left with financial worries when it could have been avoided with the "sunset clause".
Make sure the pre-nup expires! 3.
Make sure there is a clause included that will allow for the agreement to be modified at a later date.
Never sign an agreement that cannot be modified at a later date.
So, should you pay a lawyer to draft a Pre-Nuptial Agreement? Lawyers get paid to create these documents and lawyers get paid to fight over these documents.
Looks like a win-win for the lawyers! If your partner is insisting on a pre-nup, I would question your partners long term goals and motives.
If there is ABSOLUTELY NO WAY around it, I would NEVER draft this agreement without an attorney.
Answer? Yes, you should pay a lawyer to draft a Pre-Nuptial Agreement, but only as a VERY last resort and make sure the document includes the "Sunset Clause"!!