"What about my mother's pitcher? It has sentimental value.
" I must have looked like someone had dropped me on my head.
We were on our way out of the courtroom after a very difficult final hearing.
The judge had been unhappy with both lawyers and clients.
Nothing sounded so good to me as a cold drink and a hot bath.
"Was it on your list?" I brightened.
After all, the judge had awarded her the things listed on "Petitioner's Exhibit 1", and it should have had all of the personal property she wanted.
"Yes" she smiled with relief.
"It was on the second page.
" Too many times, people try to remember what personal property they've left at the marital residence without making notes.
They are so used to owning some things that it doesn't occur to them that the judge can't award items he / she doesn't know about.
This is why I tell my clients to make a list of what they want for me to give the court.
The judge won't be patient with a blow by blow itemization of small personal items.
However, he / she will generally accept a list of items with the testimony that these are the things you want.
Your list is also useful in negotiations.
If you can show your spouse what items you want, chances are he / she will agree you should have them.
Even if he / she doesn't agree with everything on your list, he / she will be sure to agree to some, if not most things, and you will have that much less work to do convincing the judge.
While you're at it, list the things you are proposing to leave for your spouse.
You won't look greedy if you can show that he / she is getting a fair share of the stuff.
Make sure you don't hog all of the goodies, though.
Your spouse and the judge will be a lot less cooperative if you are selfish.
Another good idea is to take pictures of everything before you leave.
If you don't have a digital camera, buy a disposable one at Walmart.
Make sure the items are identifiable.
If you can snap them individually, you'll avoid the confusion of trying to single out a small item in a crowd.
What you are trying to show may seem obvious to you, but remember, you are taking the pictures for people who aren't familiar with your property or its condition.
Finally, you may have to estimate the worth of some things.
You are looking at garage sale or auction value for most stuff.
Furniture and appliances lose most of their resale value when you get them home.
The price you paid originally may give you some guidance, but unless it is a big ticket item, or for some reason is unusually valuable, the court won't think it is worth as much as you say if you estimate too high.
One trick that never works is pricing your items at a too low value while hiking up the worth of the things you propose to leave your spouse.
If you are dealing with antiques, you should consider getting a professional appraisal.
Courts are not that patient with personal property fights.
Dishes, flat wear and linens are not usually that valuable, and a judge won't be happy to waste his / her time listening to a dispute about them.
However, if you weren't able to take these things when you moved out, you could spend a lot of money replacing them.
This is why you should make sure you know what you have before you go to court.