It is not simply the making of promises that needs to be celebrated at weddings.
It is the keeping of promises that is crucial to the well-being of the marriage.
Anyone can make a promise.
Not everyone is dedicated to making the compromises and commitments that marriage demands, and being happy in them because the rewards outweigh the cost.
As you begin to plan this wedding ceremony and your wedding vows, spend a bit of time first alone and then together, reflecting on your talents as keepers of promises.
If, when you look at your track record on promise keeping, it's not what you'd like it to be, you can change that.
And before you beat yourself up about any shortcomings you might have, you might review all the things you are really good at.
If you're not fabulous at promise keeping, it's likely because that hasn't been highly emphasized in today's get ahead society.
But marriage is not about getting ahead; it's about getting along and getting on.
As you prepare for marriage, you want to prepare for the keeping of promises.
Your role in marriage is to be a giver and a keeper of your word.
Making promises, keeping them and celebrating that accomplishment will encourage you to keep keeping promises! Living in constant relationship to the promises you make is where your integrity lies.
Integrity is a largely about consistency; sometimes it's just that simple.
To live by your word and to bring that quality to your marriage is to bring give your marriage the chance it needs for success and the tools you need to make it work.
Marriage needs wholehearted commitment.
Marriage needs people who take pride in the giving and keeping of their word.
The thing about wedding vows is that they're not imposed from without, they're offered from your heart.
They are designed by you to be the kind of promises you can make.
And the kind of promises you can keep.
You can do this with great joy.
So, retool your promise keeping abilities if you need to as part of your wedding planning.
Before you marry, talk about the privilege of marrying and the importance you find in being a person of your word.
The more you acknowledge yourself as a person of your word, the more you will be one.
When you offer your word at your wedding ceremony, when you and your beloved make those vows, they will take on greater significance in your mind and in the mind of your community.
The more pride you take in promise keeping, the better marriage partner you will be.
(And, if you've made a big deal about this, the thing humans hate most is being thought hypocritical, so when we make public statements about our promise keeping abilities, we HATE looking wrong about that! Use being human to your advantage in your promise keeping!) We've all seen that careers can disappear and life can change.
But being a person of our word, and a keeper of our wedding vows doesn't ever need to change.