- Choose the sympathy card carefully. Many companies make cards specifically geared to the loss of a parent. Purchase a generic card rather than one with a religious theme unless you are familiar with the family's religious beliefs.
- When you write your message in the sympathy card, the Monica's Flowers and Gifts Sympathy Etiquette site says to keep it short and simple. Most people who suffer the loss of a parent will get an avalanche of cards and condolences. This is combined with the responsibility for arranging a funeral and doing other difficult and time-consuming tasks related to the death. They will appreciate a short, heartfelt message that can be read quickly rather than a "book" that uses up valuable time.
- If you knew the parent very well, Monica's Flowers and Gifts says that your note should reflect how much he meant to you as well as offering sympathy for the recipient's loss. According to Grace Designs, a short personal memory is often very comforting. If you were not well acquainted with the parent, keep your message more generic and focused on condolences to the recipient.
- Don't write statements like "He is in a better place now" or "It was her time." Even if you feel this is true, you run the risk of offending the recipient rather than comforting her. Also, don't judge her grief or put a time frame on it by saying things like "Time will heal the pain" or "Now you can let go and move on." Each person grieves in their own way, and such statements can be hurtful when someone is still in the early stages of pain after losing a parent. Grace Designs also says you should avoid cliches like "I know just how you feel" as these often seem false and patronizing to someone who has suffered a deep loss.
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