Have you ever had one of the weeks where you go to the grocery store, it is raining, you are in a hurry, the cashier is in training, you've forgotten your recyclable bags, your paper grocery bag is overflowing and as you are putting the groceries in the car, the bag bottoms out and that much needed wine bottle splatters on the asphalt spraying the last clean clothes that you had left in your closet? People with ADHD have weeks like that all the time.
Sometimes people with ADHD need help to regain control of their lives.
I had inattentive ADHD as a child and young adult and I know this feeling well but these days I rarely let my life spiral out of control.
I think this is because with my history of inattentive ADHD, I have had a lot of experience with doing things at the very last minute.
I know that I am much more efficient and effective if I stay on top of what needs to get done.
When life throws you a week like I had last week, however, staying on top of things is far from easy.
Let me tell you why I was so overwhelmed.
The cars needed to be inspected to get our tag stickers, I needed to get all our tax papers to the accountant, our Spring break airline tickets had gone from $249.
00 round trip to $300.
00 and I still had not booked them, the vet told us that our cat who is in renal failure and who I give IV fluids to weekly would now need fluids twice a week, Summer camp registration was filling up and the kids could not decide which camps they wanted, I was working 36 hours a week instead of 20 because someone was on maternity leave, my youngest son needed help with a Native American Project, one of our friend's mother died and we were having them over for dinner, the laundry needed doing, there was something really sticky on the kitchen floor, my partner was knee deep in work, and I felt as though I was going off the deep end.
I ended up asking my co-workers to help me figure it all out.
I told my co-workers my dilemma and together we forged a plan to get started on everything.
Once I had started scratching tasks off my list, I gathered momentum and before I knew it, I had survived the week and I had accomplished everything that needed doing.
I think that there are two key factors that helped me last week.
The first factor was asking for help.
It was my co-workers who were around and I called on them to 'talk me through' what I needed to get done.
Talking to a friend, co-worker, or family member sometimes helps you to prioritize and get organized.
They can give you the perspective that you lack.
Being in the thick of it makes it progressively harder, as things pile up, to see the washing machine from the mound of laundry.
This helper also becomes the coach and cheerleader that hold you accountable to the plan that they have helped you forge.
The second factor is just getting started.
Sometimes things are so overwhelming that you become paralyzed.
We had a family friend as a child who always encouraged us to try to do things that we did not think we were particularly good at.
He loved to recite poetry and whenever someone said, "I can't do that!" he would recite this poem; "Somebody said that it couldn't be done but I with a chuckle replied, that maybe it couldn't but I would be one that didn't say so till I tried, so I buckled right in with a bit of a grin on my face if I worried I hid it, I started to sing as I tackled the thing that couldn't be done and I did it.
Somebody scoffed, oh you'll never do that, at least no one has ever done it.
But I took off my cap and I took off my coat and the next thing you know, I'd begun it.
" I think that the greatest lesson that I learned from this friend is that sometimes you just have to begin.
People with ADHD have major issues with procrastination but it is so important to understand that once you have started something, inertia may well carry you to the finish line.
I am glad to feel back in control of my life but if you are starting to get overwhelmed remember to ask for help and then put one foot in front of the other and get moving, you will go farther than you ever dreamed possible.