O.
K.
You've garnered yourself an interview for the job you've worked so hard to get.
If you are a man, you've polished your shoes, combed your hair, put on your best suit.
If you are a woman, you've done your hair, polished your nails and put on your most professional outfit.
You've rehearsed over and over how to answer those tough questions you think you are going to be asked.
You are ready to go! Not quite.
Have you practiced your body language? What is your body going to silently shout out about you? According to research conducted by Albert Mehrabian, Professor Emeritus in psychology at UCLA, and widely sited in body language literature, words account for approximately 7 percent of our communication.
The remaining communication falls into the tone of your voice at 38 percent, and your body language at a whopping 55 percent! Obviously, these numbers will vary depending upon the communication context, such as person-to-person, or talking on the phone.
Nevertheless, body language is an extremely important part of communication.
If you talk in a strong confident voice but your body language tells the interviewer you are guarded or nervous; then your words, your voice and your body language are not saying the same thing.
They don't match up and that puts up and waves all kinds of psychological red flags.
By improving your body language, you communicate what you want to say more effectively and you create better more powerful connections with other people.
Let's start with first impressions.
It has been said many times that you never get a second chance to make a good first impression.
I agree.
As much as we say we don't or don't want to, we all develop a mental image and impression of someone when we first meet.
By using a confident posture and open body language, people will develop a stronger, more positive first impression of you.
How your body language is interpreted will vary depending on where you are and who you are talking with.
You would obviously use different body language when interacting with an intimate dear friend versus communicating with a co-worker, your supervisor or in an interview.
In order to understand and change what your body language says, you first must become aware of what your body is doing and what it looks like when interacting with others.
Become aware of your posture when standing or walking, how you use your hands when talking or listening, and the way you sit.
Try looking in a mirror or in store windows when out walking.
You might be surprised at what that person in the mirror or window is saying.
Look closely at the way people carry themselves on television shows, or on the "red carpet" at award ceremonies.
Observe the way politicians walk and talk.
Watch newsmaker talk shows for the way the hosts and guests sit and use their hands.
How do you compare? Pick up on their cues and see if that doesn't help you.
Here are some universally accepted body language interpretations and how you can effectively use them to more speak more confidently with your body.
The Handshake.
It is believed that the modern day handshake traces it lineage from medieval Europe where it is said that kings and knights would grasp hands as a demonstration that each was not hiding or holding a weapon.
Today, handshakes are often used to begin and end a business meeting, an interview or when meeting a new person.
Like bookends, they signal the start and finish, of an encounter between people and act as an expression of equality.
When shaking hands, use a sincere non-wimpy or dead fish grip that shows your confidence and good self-esteem.
If you are a man, use a full, firm grip without being bone crushing.
If you are a woman, use a full, firm but brief grip that is not weak or light.
Save the "feminine" shake for your intimate friends.
Remember, you are being judged on your handshake whether consciously or subconsciously.
Some even go so far as to view your handshake as a window into your soul or personality, so make it count.
Eye contact.
If you are talking to more than one person, especially in a panel interview, make eye contact with each one to make a connection and to see if they are listening.
Don't overdo the eye contact though and especially don't stare at interviewers during what seems like long silences as they are trying to come up with the next question.
Keep the eye contact short and moving around.
On the other hand, if you find it uncomfortable looking people in the eye, look at their nose instead.
Nod your head.
This lets the other person know that you are listening.
Don't overdo the nodding though; too much nodding looks insincere and unnatural.
Crossing your arms or legs.
Don't! Crossing your arms and legs has been shown to make you look guarded or defensive.
Keep your arms by your side and your legs and ankles uncrossed.
Fidgeting, jingling keys or coins, rocking or swaying.
Again, don't! This says that you are unsure of yourself, are nervous and you lack self-control.
Stand still, feet firmly planted or sit in the chair with a slight forward lean.
Keep your hands by your side if standing or on the table if seated, using them to add emphasis to a point you are trying to make.
If you feel that your hands are going to be moving around because you are so nervous, keep a yellow legal pad in front of you.
Place one hand on the pad and hold a pen in the other.
Just don't click the pen continuously as that would defeat the purpose of holding the pen.
Mirroring.
These is a very important type of body language that is done unconsciously when two people hit it off and connect, and is something that you should be consciously aware of from this point forward.
What this means is as two people are talking to each other, they start to mimic or mirror each others movements.
If one folds their hands, the other folds their hands.
If one of them leans toward the other the other leans forward too "mirroring" the others movements.
So, if you feel yourself connecting or would like to make a stronger connection with someone, mirror the other person's movement.
Don't instantly follow their lead, don't mirror their every move and just don't overdo it.
Speaking the right body language can help you express a positive, confident and secure image during job interviews and social interactions.
Work on it, pay attention to it and practice it for a better you.