Perhaps Dr.
Jill Bolte Taylor's most famous quote is the one Oprah has hanging on her wall.
It says, "Please take responsibility for the energy you bring into this space.
" Much like me saying, "These babies have taught me over time that it's possible to choose how I show up.
That in the midst of any situation, I can take a deep breath, let go of my negativity and set an intention to allow my positive energy to go forth into the world.
Or into an incubator, which is like a very small world itself.
" And from a (real life) parent's point of view: "This may sound crazy but I told the doctors I didn't want them to come into her room to do rounds anymore.
All they do is stand around her and say how bad things are looking for her.
I am completely aware of her situation, yet I don't want that negative energy around her.
I asked them to talk about her in the hallway instead.
So that's what they're doing now.
" I happen to believe that we behave differently depending on what we're thinking and feeling.
We handle babies differently depending on what we're thinking and feeling.
We pay attention to the safety of our tasks differently depending on what we're thinking and feeling.
So the good news is: you get to choose.
You always get to choose who you're going to be before you put your hands on the babies in your care.
Even when you're really busy.
Even when they're dying.
It doesn't mean you ignore reality.
Instead it means that maybe you serve him best by being present and seeing his situation in the best way you know how.
Seeing him only as already healed.
It certainly can't hurt.
And suddenly you consider this little person not as a pitiful sick baby, but as a strong individual who most of the time heals completely and sometimes does not.
There are many experts who speak about how healthcare workers deal with loss and bereavement.
I am not one of them! But, like all of you, I've had my share of loss.
And, like many of you, I sometimes don't know what to do with all of it, while it's happening, when it's over, and when there have been decades of it.
I do know this much.
Regardless of the baby's 'outcome', I feel so much better when I know that every time I work with him, I think only the best for him.
The highest, most healed thoughts for him.
And I have never once regretted this practice.
It's what I'd want done for me, for my child, for anyone I love.
I deal with anything that is emotional for me by writing about it (you're shocked, right?!).
So years ago I wrote this poem about a very strong individual we took care of for a long time.
Ya know how some babies just work their way into your heart? Well, yea, me too.
I don't usually share such things with the whole world.
But I think we need to stop pretending we don't have feelings about this stuff.
So for what it's worth and to illustrate how I use this practice even through loss - read on.
Max Maybe my greatest gift to you each day was the choice to see you in my mind as a little boy running in the wind.
Healed of all your sickness laughing, older, wiser, free.
My vision of you remained even as your ventilator was removed, your mother cried, and your chest ceased its tremendous work to rise and fall.
In my mind's eye I still see you there, running, smiling, as if perhaps your life here was just part of the dream we've yet to know.