The study utilized data taken from the National Longitudinal Survey of Youth, which includes surveys of over 1,600 women, all 40 years old and married.  They were asked to rate how much they agree with a series of statements designed to reflect the degree that they believe they can effectively balance their professional and domestic lives, such as "a woman who fulfills her family responsibilities doesn't have time for a job outside the home," and "working wives lead to more juvenile delinquency."

While past studies have shown that working moms have lower rates of depression than stay at home moms, this test examined what happens when mothers have a "super mom" type attitude, believing that they can balance both without sacrificing either.  The results were not surprisingly an increased risk of depression.  "Employed women who expected that work-life balance was going to be hard are probably more likely to accept that they can't do it all.  For example, these moms may be more comfortable making tradeoffs, such as leaving work early to pick up kids – these mothers had fewer symptoms of depression," says Katrina Leupp, a graduate student from the University of Washington graduate student who studies how households deal with the demands of work and family care.

In other words, the mothers who set lower expectations for their ability to balance work and domestic responsibilities experienced less guilt when they were confronted with the reality that they couldn't (at least not as well as they thought they could).  Another source of guilt for some reason came from their high expectations for division of labor around the house, and their conceptions of what constitutes a fair amount of work for both women and men.

Not only is depression emotionally painful, but can affect you physically, leading to decreased immune system function and even diminished ability to burn body fat levels.  Depression and negative thinking are also very contagious thought patterns, so if you notice that your ideal reality and an actual reality are too much at odds with each other, then maybe it's time to bite the bullet and lower your standards.