As a pickup artist instructor and trainer, I've seen a bad trend out there.
MISCALIBRATION.
As Mr.
Miyagi and Jackie Chan said in their respective Karate Kid movies, "There are no bad students.
Only bad teacher.
" By writing these articles, my goal is to not be a bad teacher.
I want to be an advanced PUA's second opinion and a beginner's fastest option with the information I give.
Miscalibration is prevalent in some of the ways teachers teach.
They teach students to keep gaming of pushing a set until the woman gives up, or until the set blows up.
They tell you to talk about yourself.
They never tell you to listen or look to the woman for her reaction.
Many guys are oblivious to indicators that a woman is interested as well as disinterested, and never learn how to adjust because their teachers don't either.
I've taught many students in social artistry, and they usually come to me from other styles and philosophies of pickup that have focused on one genre or one guru.
Mystery.
Neil Strauss.
Ross Jeffries.
David DeAngelo.
David Shade.
Direct.
Indirect.
Natural.
Gambits.
NLP.
I've learned them all and synthesized them all into my own personal style.
If you were like me when you began learning the social arts, no single style seemed to fit you.
MY OWN style fit me.
So I had to pick and choose my material.
But I really didn't learn it until I had wingmen that were versed in the different styles to show me how they did it.
I, like many of you aspiring mPUA's, started with Mystery and Style.
I had good success but I'm no rockstar and watched PUA after PUA become a bad miscalibrated version of Mystery.
Dressing ridiculously, being loud and obnoxious and clowning.
Mystery does his style because it is congruent with who he is now and uses it well.
He does not look weird because his style fits him and him only.
For me? Some things worked but the rest wasn't so much congruent with who I was.
Turning students into Mystery mini-me's was not the original intent of Mystery's method, but it was the unfortunate consequence when lots of guys go out there with no guidance or with poor guidance at the true intent of the method.
Style even made fun of it in his book where all of a sudden he saw mini-Styles all around at the end of his book.
I too have been copied to the degree where one student started befriending all my lady friends on Facebook and joining all the groups I joined, even though one of them was for fans of a good friend's dog! (And no, the dog wasn't THAT cute or funny).
In order to help steer you away from bad teaching, bad methods, bad gurus, and bad learning techniques, this is a brief explanation of how I learned the game and got good: I was lucky enough to start with Mike Long and Venusian Art's work original dvd training set.
It cost me 2000 dollars at the time but it showed me what Mystery really meant by what he wrote in his method and some of his newer discoveries.
The key lesson I learned? Gambits and and Routines themselves work when the body language, voice, and look are congruent with a guy using it.
More importantly you don't need a gambit or a routine when you have the other three aspects congruent with your confidence level.
With my wingman Baron teaching me under his wing, I learned the M3 Model inside and out.
But something still didn't feel right in me.
I then discovered the NLP techniques Ross Jeffries discusses and it was gold.
I realized my congruence with my self was WAY off when I learned his concepts.
Through the Mystery teachings I became Mystery and Style and every other Mystery-style guru out there as a cover-up of my true self.
It was this costume I put on to game, rather than using it as an enhancement to my true self.
It struck me as funny that it took one of the oldest teachers and methods out there to tell me this.
When I did Ross Jeffries's neurolinguistic programming, All of a sudden I was ready to go out as ME.
The funny backlash against his teaching of patterns is that people think the patterns are rote and incongruent and manipulative.
The funny thing is Ross's ultimate goal is to get you feeling good about yourself, with acceptance confidence to allow you to walk with confidence in ANY endeavor, and without a different persona or costume in front of you.
I felt empowered and ready to go out every night without any expectations nor any need to get anything from anyone.
I finally felt what Mystery and Lovedrop and Matador were trying to teach in their newer material: Ghost and Flame, Yin and Yang.
Through Ross's work I was finally able to truly be the lighted flame in the social atmosphere but the ghost of nonreactivity whenever barbs or Alpha Males or other tests were thrown at me.
But Ross's neurolinguistic programming methods allowed me to feel congruent with what I was doing and conveying.
It was me that was attractive, not my facade nor my gambits as I thought was the truth when I did the original Mystery method.
Next I met people who had learned from other people such as Tyler Durden, Mehow, Hypnotica, Steve P.
I was lucky enough to have been taught by these people who were taught by the higher up gurus through events called "Reunions" where a group of upcoming PUAs would meet in a party town to show each other their skills.
These events were where I had my most accelerated learning.
Seeing other PUAs use what I read about in 3 dimensions made it much more applicable to my game and much more readily absorbed.
When I was good enough at game to get consistent results, the teachings of the lovemaking and tantric gurus became much more important.
These books are a cornerstone to becoming a rockstar in the bedroom.
I read books on hypnotic bedroom technique, tried it out with my girlfriends, and soon enough I garnered a reputation at ladies' conversations at coffeehouses as a great lay.
No - change that to astounding lay.
No - change that to phenomenal one-of-a-kind lay.
My claim to fame is giving a hand-massage orgasm to a writer from Cosmopolitan UK while being interviewed.
I had dreams of being "Big" in "Sex and the City" and that was the closest I got to it.
I was featured in an article in the December 2009 issue of that magazine.
I haven't gone to England to cash in on my fame however.
(That's for another lifetime).
Then I met one of my good friends Cliff at a pick-up-training event me and my wingman Dionysus held in NYC.
He was a hypnotherapist learning game together with us.
I venture to say Cliff learned how to use his hypnosis in game through the reunion, and me and my wingmen learned basic hypnosis from Cliff.
And then I had another tool for myself in field as well as with my students to amp up their game.
Many guys in game come from places of a lot of hurt in relationships, and many times hypnotherapy is the tool to help those guys out rapidly.
Now I am an mPUA who uses NLP, EFT, Hypnotherapy, Mystery Method, and other unknown but excellent PUA techniques invented and used by my wingmen in their sarging.
I am a hybrid of many different styles and experiences, but have done the hard work in field to get it part of me.
At this moment I am my best self, and the best self is constantly improving and learning new things and open to new techniques.
They say the more advanced you get in game, the harder it is for you to learn.
I hope I don't get there because there is so much good stuff out there, and new stuff is coming all the time.
That's how I learned game, and it's the type of learning I encourage to my students.
Through this article, I am hopefully imparting to you that this is an alternative to most of the bad educating going on out there.
Meeting other PUAs and social artists and watching and learning from them, even if they aren't gurus, is GOLD for learning new things.
And you don't want to keep yourself loyal to just one method.
Good luck in your learning and remember to leave them better than you found them, if you have to leave them at all.