20 Things I Learned from Reading Children"s Fiction
As the parent of reluctant readers, I've read a lot of children's and young adult fiction. And while, absolutely, reading is good and very much to be encouraged, sometimes such reading isn't much fun for parents. Not because of things like repetitious language or simplistic plots -- that, I can deal with. What I hate is the overwhelming load of stress and sadness and angst that seems to fill the pages of so much kid lit -- and the way parents are clueless saps when they're not actively harmful.
I get that books for children or teens are written to help kids work their issues out, and that's why parents in these plots are so often part of the problem. We're not the target audience, us moms and dads who have to read with our reading-challenged offspring, and so we should just pass the words through without taking them too much to heart.
That's easier said than done, though, isn't it? Am I the only one who has trouble getting through these tales of school bullies, friendship traumas, teacher oppression, and sibling strife without wanting to grab those fictional parents by the lapels and yell, "Hey, pay attention! Something's going on with your kid!"?
Even when I like the parents, and they're trying hard, these books can be heart-wrenching. My shoulders sag a little each time Marty's dad in the Shiloh trilogy gets the weight of the world dumped on him, courtesy of his good-hearted, right-thinking, not-well-enough-alone-leaving son. That man needs a vacation, and so do I after I've read those books.
Still, just as our kids are supposed to learn from the fictional struggles of their peers, I suppose we can do the same. Here are twenty bits of parenting wisdom I've gained from children's books:
1. Listen when your child talks.
2. Listen when your child doesn't talk.
3. If your child doesn't want to talk about it, you do.
4. Never leave your child unsupervised.
5. If you wonder whether school is a living hell for your child, the answer is yes.
6. Check every hiding place in your house regularly.
7. Having a personal life of your own will cause you to neglect your child.
8. Not having a personal life of your own will cause you to smother your child.
9. If your child is sneaking food from the table, it's probably not to have a snack later.
10. Any surprise you get for your child will always be a letdown.
11. Don't take a teacher's or a principal's word on what's going on at school.
12. Don't take your child's word, though, either.
13. Or the word of your child's friends, or alleged friends, or siblings.
14. Might want to drive by the school at recess time now and then to see what goes on in that playground.
15. If your kids come in with ashes from Mount Vesuvius in their hair, don't believe them when they say they were just playing in some treehouse in the woods.
16. Get to know your children's friends. Run background checks, if necessary.
17. Never assume that because you told your child he couldn't have a pet, he doesn't have a pet.
18. Show up at your child's sporting events, talent shows, award ceremonies, and other important occasions. And not at the last minute, either.
19. There is one child at whose house you must never let your child stay overnight. You know which one, right?
20. The odds of you doing or saying the wrong thing are very high. But you've got to do and say stuff anyway.
For more on dealing with reluctant readers, check out these articles: