The formula: Family (usually English, as they're the neighbours just across the channel), fed up with city life, having holidayed previously in France, sell their house (if they have one to sell) pack themselves, kids and animals in their only vechile, and with no concrete employment prospects, plus barely (if any) French language skills, commence their (they hope) more than a Year in Provence French Travel adventure. Most everyone in the World has a dream destination in mind. A place that they'd rather be and live. Or at least, they imagine that would be the case. The man who has contributed most to these fantasies, as far as France is concerned, is, of course Pete Mayle. With his first book, "A Year in Provence" and his subsequent tomes, The English Writer and ex-advertising executive gave the impression that anyone could successfully make the move to France. And so, many were inspired to do exactly that. No matter they had limited or no knowledge of French Grammar and customs. No matter that they had no needed job skills. Those "cold shower" realities never entered into the dreamscape.

While this "Tour de France is obviously romantic, it's equally not very realistic.(France for Dummies, anyone?) However, some of the starry eyed immigrants do make it work. Otherwise there would be no books in this genre. Right?

While a case can be made that books which inspire people to consider actions which are not "realistic may be negative, that's balanced by the determination of individuals to perserver and make their dreams come true.

The big stumbling block for most making the move to France today, is the one they consider least. The French Language. Particularly French Grammar. If the prospective immigrants have had even a few French Lessons, this will be glaringly apparent.

While the French language is diffcult enough to learn, with it's unique and unusual vowel sounds, further complicating the educational process is the subject of gender. In French, inanimate objects - what we would describe in English as "things" - can be either masculine or feminine. Definitely a French Grammar concept that takes more than a little getting used to for outsiders.

One of the most - if not the most frustrating aspects of any country is bureaucracy. That dreaded "red tape." While every country has it, France seems to have more than average. And the fact that four out of every five French are government paper-pushers would seem to bear this assumption out.

You need a permit for everything. But you don't get that permit at just one place. No. That would be too logical and convenient. You must first get an application for a permit at one location. Then go to another to get it stamped. And then,( yes it is this bad), go to another to deliver it.

While it mean seem like the height of "nit picking" to use a certain color of ink on your French paper chase applications, nit picking is the definition of bureaucracy. Needless to say, if you were careless enough to use an ink of the wrong color, it could delay, or even end your chances of success.

These "cold showers" of every day French reality will, without a doubt, drench your French dream. Usually, when it's too late. When you've made the move and now get to experience the frustrations as well as the fun.

There is, however, a way to avoid all the many negatives of moving permanently to France. The best, and easiest is " a "virtual" Tour de France.That way, no worries about your lack of French grammar or French lessons. And you get enjoy the incredible scenery without having to concentrate on the road. Likewise for French Cooking. You can pick up some great recipies without shelling out for a spendy course with a famous chef. The only downside here will be French Wine and French cheese. Not (yet) ready for "virtual tasting." But soon, inevitably, we'll hear: "there's an app for that!"