For some of us who have lived more than half a century, ringing in the New Year with dances, parties, streamers, and drinks doesn't hold as much appeal as it did at one time.
Even if you're a lot younger, you may find your energy depleted by holiday festivities.
By the time New Years rolls around, you're content to stay home and watch TV.
Remarkable as this may seem to people in their twenties, there comes a time when we can be easily satisfied with a quiet celebration at home.
Here on the West Coast, we can watch the Times Square celebration and get to bed by a little after 9:00.
In fact, as time marches on, it's easy to more or less ignore the passing of one year and the beginning of the next.
You may just be tempted to tuck in early and pull the covers over your head.
That's too bad (not the being at home and not the going to bed early part, but the ignoring of the occasion) because December 31 and January 1 offer a priceless opportunity to let go of a lot of "stuff" that is best discarded before beginning the adventure of a new year.
It is also a grand time to celebrate what was good about the passing year -- and potentially great about the coming one (to say nothing about what may come to pass in all the rest of the years in your life).
It is for just that reason that we bring you this article.
We would like to help you plan an end to the old year and a beginning of the new in a way that can celebrate the best of who you are -- and who you are becoming.
Calendars Mark Occasions for Release and Celebration What do you remember about the past year? I bet if you went to your appointment calendar and looked again at each month, you'd discover you've climbed more mountains and gone through more valleys than you remember.
Of course, you chose some of those journeys.
But others were imposed upon you.
Look closely, however, and the pages of your calendar may reveal something else.
Buried among the easily forgotten daily trivia are special events, both marvelous and miserable, that gave their unique signature to the year that is ending.
Also, throughout the months you can see evidence of love you shared with friends and relatives, conflicts and the resolution of some of those conflicts, an important project you started or completed, newly acquired skills and the application of old skills, gifts you gave or received, challenges, loses, victories.
To put into practice some of the ideas in this article, I recommend you review your calendar and jot down several significant things you want to remember and celebrate -- and some you want to forget.
We'll begin with the latter.
Saying Good-bye to the Passing Year I have been told that if you live in Italy, at the end of the year you open your window and throw out your calendars, old dishes, or anything else that represents something you no longer need.
(If it's not true, it ought to be.
) In fact, no matter where you live, you, too, may want to do something similar.
Of course, some of the difficult people you've had to deal with may object to being thrown out a second-story window.
Nevertheless, there are a number of ways you can release the past, either in your imagination or in real life, from flushing it down the toilet to putting it in the trash to sending it up in a balloon.
Creating Rituals of Gratitude Now let's turn to the things you want to remember about the year that is ending.
Here you essentially do the opposite of excising regret and bad memories.
You create a personal ritual or ceremony to reinforce positive memories.
Whether what you choose to do is playful or solemn, it should contain elements that are especially meaningful to you.
By choosing to include strengths and highlights from your past, you connect with who you have been.
By creating your own ritual, you define who are you today.
By planning a ritual for welcoming the future, you help determine the kind of person you want to become.
Then use your imagination to expand on some of the ideas below.
As this website continues to grow from year to year, we will include rituals our visitors share with us.
In the meantime, below are some ideas to prime the pump and jump-start your own creative way to mark the passing of the old year.
Create a special place of celebration and honor for the past year.
On the wall, refrigerator, piano, or some other place easily seen, put photos of special people who were part of a special event - or scenes of a special place.
If you make this an ongoing exhibit, each year you can have a changing-of-the-photos ritual in which you bring forward those that represent experiences well worth remembering.
Don't worry if you don't have a current picture of the person, an old one will do.
Have a tell-about-the-best night.
Invite friends and family to a celebration of what was really good about 1998.
Everyone can bring something representing an event they want to specially remember.
In setting up parameters for the evening, be sure to recognize the potential for celebration in the death of friends and relatives of the participants.
What a nice opportunity to experience once again the funny stories and accomplishments of these special people.
However, be sure to make a rule that there will be no bitching, no complaining, and no dredging up of the worst of that year.
Allowing such ideas to intrude into this celebration can make the event a real bummer.
Invite friends and family to a celebration of what was really good about the past year.
Everyone can bring something representing an event they want to specially remember.
In setting up parameters for the evening, be sure to recognize the potential for celebration in the death of friends and relatives of the participants.
What a nice opportunity to experience once again the funny stories and accomplishments of these special people.
However, be sure to make a rule that there will be no bitching, no complaining, and no dredging up of the worst of that year.
Allowing such ideas to intrude into this celebration can make the event a real bummer.
There are many ways you can celebrate the ending of a year with personal, simple rituals.
The important thing is that you don't just let one year slide into the next.
Take the time to create a ritual that can end this year so that you're ready -- with enthusiasm, hope, and courage -- for what lies ahead in the next year.
© Copyright 1998, Revised 2002, Arlene Harder, MA, MFT