1) "I'M GOING FISHING" Translated: "I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety.
" 2) "IT'S A GUY THING" Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical".
3) "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?" 4) "UH HUH", "SURE, HONEY", OR "YES, DEAR" Translated: Absolutely nothing.
It's a conditioned response.
5) "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I have no idea how it works.
" 6) "I WAS LISTENING TO YOU.
IT'S JUST THAT I HAVE THINGS ON MY MIND.
"Translated: "I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra.
" 7) "TAKE A BREAK HONEY, YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD".
Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner.
" 8) "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR.
" Translated: "Are you still talking?" 9) "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS.
" Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop', the address of the first girl I ever kissed and the vehicle identification numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday.
" 10) "I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT YOU, AND GOT YOU THESE ROSES".
Translated: "The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe.
" 11) "OH, DON'T FUSS.
I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NO BIG DEAL.
" Translated: "I have actually severed a limb, but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt.
" 12) "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING".
Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon.
" 13) "I CAN'T FIND IT.
" Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless.
" 14) "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?" 15) "I HEARD YOU.
" Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next 3 days yelling at me.
" 16) "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE.
" Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me, and realize it could be worse.
" 17) "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
" Translated: "Oh, C'mon, please don't try on one more outfit, I'm starving.
" 18) "I'M NOT LOST.
I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE.
" Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again.
"