When we talk about relationships, we often think of romantic relationships, social relationships, and our friends, but one of the most vital and significant of all of our relationships will be the parental one. As parents we assume a unique role in the relationship and will be responsible for more than just caring for our child or children.
Parents actually teach their children how to interact with others, how to participate in all other relationships in their lives. This is something we tend to forget in the rush to ensure that children get fed, bathe, learn to read, and become unique and independent people.
What some might call the "ripple effect" occurs in the parent-child relationship. You are certainly showing them all of the necessary life skills and guiding them through the various stages of childhood, but what about their virtues? What are you teaching them in addition to their alphabet and how to tie their shoes?
These are important questions to ask and when you have answers for them you are going to have given this relationship a depth and vitality that will help your child or children to become more complete adults.
The Most Important Relationship
The first relationship in our lives (for most people) is the one we have with our parents. Our parents play an important and irreplaceable role in the lives of our children. It is vital that parents understand that they have an impact on a child's entire well-being from the physical to the mental.
This tells us that we need to be good parents in order to ensure our children enjoy complete and healthy lives, but it also means that we need to understand how to parent well.
We might turn to the classic song by Crosby, Stills & Nash and tell you to "teach your children well…" but that isn't really enough. What do you teach them well? Many studies have been done about people who feel the happiest in their lives and two things stand out from all of the research: people who are grateful are happier than most and people who live in service to others, who give rather than seek support, are also happier.
This is something that really helps to clarify the parental role. You must teach your kids all of the essentials of life - walking, talking, reading, writing, games, etc. You must also teach them virtues such as right and wrong, helpfulness, kindness, truthfulness, caring and fairness, but to ensure that the ripple effect occurs, you must also help them to become grateful and encouraging of others.
This sets them outside of themselves and gives them a much broader perspective of the world. This is invaluable and is the foundation for respect - both self-respect and respect for others. Your goal as a parent is not to make your children happy. That is a major mistake that millions make and which sets them up for many years of struggle. Your goal as a parent is to teach your children how to be aware of themselves, how to lead vital lives, and how to participate best in the world around them. That begins with gratitude and the willingness to encourage and support others.
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