The pain of a breakup can lead people with great intentions to do things that would really mess up their chances of getting back together with their ex. A lot of your natural impulses that you may thing should help you, actually instead cause harm to your efforts by putting you even further away from your ex.

Here are some of the more common mistakes that are usually made by people like you who are just trying to pull the pieces together and may not know exactly what they're doing. Hopefully by having a heads-up on these problems, you can avoid letting them get the best of you and your efforts to get your ex back.

1) Trying to rush right up and prove your determination and desire to change for your ex, and become what she needs of you. Sounds like the right idea, right? Wrong! Yes, your attitude should reflect that sort of intent and dedication, but you need to back off of your ex for a while (about a month). After a breakup is one's most vulnerable state, and when you swamp your ex with attention you're just going to get negative results. Take it easy, no contact for a month...it's the best thing to do to allow both of you some healing and thinking time.

2) Just going through the motions when it comes to dealing with your problems. If you lead your ex to believe that you've changed, you need to have changed! Even if you weren't intentionally deceiving your ex, dropping your changes in attitude and behavior once you've gotten back together will just break you two up again...and this time you may not be able to fix it.

3) Once your term of no-contact is up and you're actively pursuing your ex, try not to be too aggressive. Even after a month, your ex may still be a bit resistant to the idea of getting back together. Pushing her won't do well for you, so just be patient and careful, and go at the pace she's comfortable with. It's a process of rebuilding contact, communication, and trust...and it can be slow.

These are just a few of the bigger mistakes or issues that people run into, but even if it's far from everything you need to know it should still help you. If you've already made one of these mistakes, don't despair too much. One thing I've learned over the years is that nearly any situation can be fixed if you know how.

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