Being a teen in today's time isn't quite as easy as most parents think it is.
So teens don't have to pay bills, work 9-5 hour jobs to put food on the table, and be responsible for another life.
Despite these facts, they DO have issues worth paying attention to, and as young adults, they are starting to develop their own opinions on the most controversial subjects, and sometimes, their own beliefs.
The average teen generally complains about the un-fairness of their parents.
Most parents respond to this with a big,fat SO WHAT! This is not the answer.
Teens today feel needs for things that might not have been around in an older parent's time.
There was no I-pods, no Gravity cell phones, and no every-other-day mall trips.
These needs can be compared to what you yourself as an adolescent, felt you just HAD to have, like that base-ball bat or that beatles record, it was almost a NECESSITY.
My message to you parents, is not to spoil your children and give them everything they ask for, (because there are financial issues to consider, in this recession that we're going through) but work out a way for you both to be happy, not just with material items, but certain limits you might place on them.
(i.
e.
curfew,dating age, allowance, boundaries of hanging out with friends) There are a few ways to deal with this, using the ten tips below: 1) Your kid will feel crowded and too 'watched on' if you become TOO overprotective.
An example, are the parents that may want their child to check in every hour ON the hour if their kid leaves the house.
This doesn't help your child's social life by far, and they become agitated.
A simple text saying where they are going, when they will be back, and who they're going to be with should be enough.
If your child does not have a cell, then a phone call a home should do.
2) Cell phones.
The debate on whether most early teens should have them is definitely still going on.
But, your child may need or want that phone for a number of reasons, A.
They need to be able to 'check in'.
B.
Emergencies.
C.
To keep up a social life.
Most teens DO have cells, and are on some form of plan, but no one wants to feel left out of the loop because they don't have one.
If a phone plan is not in your budget, I suggest you look into a pre-paid cell-phone of the variety that can be purchased at Walmart, 7-11, Dollar Generals, and more.
3) Dating.
What most parents fear the most for their child.
They cringe at the idea of someone wanting to even LOOK at their kid in an inappropriate manner, but, there is not much you can do to prevent it.
As they get older, they start to like other kids, and not giving them a hard time about it is something they'll appreciate.
Now, I'm not saying let your kid run wild doing any disgusting thing, but this IS something you should sit down and talk to your kid about.
Protecting your kid from this is a good thing, but being too protective, can cause some bad parenting when they are adults, they are somewhat likely to give their kid too much freedom in dating, from the lack of it that they had.
OR get some form of revenge.
For teens ages 13 to an early 15, supervised dates are suggested.
Nothing too serious, at such a tender age.
Beware, while in the dating phase of a teens life, of anything they could possibly do, DO NOT BECOME OVER-PROTECTIVE, but keep a closer eye on their actions.
Also don't let who they're dating distract them from their main priority, SCHOOL.
If your kid can barely add, they don't need someone to date.
Or deserve the privilege, for that matter.
Maybe as a teen, dating at that age was thought of as ridiculous, but in this year 2009, its highly acceptable, if you do it right, of course.
4) Material items.
This may seem in relation to the cell tip, but not really.
There are more fun things a kid can enjoy nowadays, whether it be a specific type of clothing, a video game, or maybe even a guitar.
Teens can sulk for DAYS, over an item they thought they HAD to have, sometimes you should not deny them of these things.
Don't make brats out of your kids of course, but there is a way they can get most of what they want, if you make them WORK for it.
Look into a part-time job for your teen or a larger allowance on extra chores they do around the house, so they can save for whatever they desire so badly.
If they still want it when they have their OWN money to buy it, then everyone wins.
Compromise with your teen on this, so you and them can agree that the object is worth buying.
5) Chores.
A kid can go into chore over-load.
Your teens are not MAIDS! The idea here is not to let your kid be lazy and not do anything to help out at home, but some arguments concerning this can be easily avoided, using a few tips: A.
If a sibling owns a pet, don't expect any of your other teens to clean up after it! They might not even like it! B.
Whats messed up, gets cleaned up.
Your teen should not have to clean up a mess they didn't help make.
If your teen did not destroy the entire kitchen trying to bake a cake, then they don't clean it up, even if they DO eat the cake.
C.
Don't let all the chores rest on one child.
If you have more than one kid, assign chores for them to do, expect them to remember whatever they get.
If you have an only child, help do the chores, divide them between you and your kid.
D.
All of the above tips are voided, if the child needs to be punished for any form of reason.
6) Talk.
Your kids have issues they might want to confide in you about.
They need advice on friends, boyfriends/girlfriends, work, school, and you could be the one to give it to them! Just because they don't pay a car note, don't dismiss their problems as 'kid stuff'.
Its one thing your child will look at you badly for in the future, if they keep everything bottled up, which is unhealthy.
7) Don't compare your kids to other kids! Statements like 'why can't you be more like her' or 'act like you're brother' can really tear at a kid's self-esteem.
They'll always feel as if they aren't good enough, or that they're too flawed.
Just because little Cindy across the street gets straight A's, doesn't mean the kid in front of you isn't great.
When you compare you're kid to other kids, you're not helping, you're just making their insecurities worse.
Find better and more polite ways to tell your kid to straighten up, never give them a 'perfect' version of what you want them to be.
They ARE their own person.
8) Religion & Sexuality.
As they get older, beliefs and attractions can differ from how they were young.
Your teen may have been raised Catholic, but might start to fall into step with the beliefs of an Atheist.
This is not your choice, its theirs.
Be understanding and welcoming of this new change, do not exile your child because of their new beliefs or opinions, or try to persuade them otherwise.
As for sexuality, well in today's time homosexuality is somewhat normal to be around.
If your child feels this is what and who they are, don't stop loving them, and don't disown them, because you'll only be confirming their worse fears.
Its a great possibility you won't agree or approve of this choice, but its their call, not yours.
9) Beware of the 'divorced child'.
This child wont be able to see their parent with any one else but the opposite parent, and you should expect such.
Bringing a new beau into a child's life too quickly can really set off some emotions with them.
They can feel as if you are trying to 'replace' the biological parent, and its likely they won't adjust, and they WILL become angry, or even depressed.
If you are a divorced parent, taking new dating VERY slow, would be wise.
Talk with your kid and make sure they are comfortable with this change.
Its also important to make sure the kid can bond with the person you date, or they will feel VERY uncomfortable around them.
***Know and trust the new beau well enough to know they are no danger OR threat to your child.
10) School.
With grades and everything, school can be stressing.
When a bad mark comes in the mail, don't immediately resort to yelling and screaming at your child.
You should know your child well enough to know that they put forth an effort in every subject, and talk with them about the failing grades.
On the other hand, if your kid is capable of much more, don't scream, but some serious action should be taken, to correct this.
Well, that is the most advice I can offer you at this point parents, I hope that some of this sticks with you, and that you and your teen have an awesome relationship! Ta Ta For Now! :)