Tyranny, fear.
oppression, violence are all tactics used to subdue the child and teen.
Abusers are masters at these games because they are trying to feed their selfishness no matter what the cost to others.
How can a child or teen ever be free of such a mind set? Children and teens need to be able to talk, feel safe to release what is internally inside of them.
You as the adult cannot appeared shocked or angered and you must develop a listening ear to hear.
Hear what they are saying, don't rehearse your response while they are talking.
Be mindful.
They need to heal and learn that their is a better life, outside of abuse.
Many obstacles crop up in our own lives that try to keep us from opening up to fear and confronting it ourselves.
So we must understand if we as adults have these issues how does a child or teen handle them.
We must direct children to go forward and learn to be confident again.
They need their minds renewed to a hope of a better life.
Fear is an enemy of a soul.
Where fear abides so does control.
Control is the goal of the enemy.
A good mental picture of the care that is needed to a child or teen is this; Imagine an intensive care unit in a hospital and an IV drip.
The drip is what sustains the persons body it it comes out to fast it can harm, if it comes out to slow it is good for nothing.
Balance is what is needed and a process of time.
It is not something that is going to go away all at once.
It takes time to recover in a hospital setting.
So in the home setting I would suggest slow and steady love and a listening ear, so the ability to heal and trust again can take place in the human heart be it children or teens.
It does not happen overnight.
You can counter attack the fear by consistently re-establishing safety.
Give them boundaries, give them safety.
Where are you going, what time will you be home.
Children play in areas where you can see them constantly.
These are a few ideas.
Let the little ones be close to you.
Bake cookies let them help you wash your car.
What I am basically saying is include them in the things you do engaging them in a safe atmosphere of responsibility and love.
Also if the child is young let them draw pictures while you are talking to them.
That opens up an avenue of encouragement and safety..
They can talk about their picture and you can help draw along side of them and create a new picture.
Their mind is what needs healed as well.
Teach them to draw new pictures.
Retrain their mind.
Teens like to draw as well, teach them to write out what happened.
Explain to them that no one needs to read it but it helps them put circumstances down on paper and then where trust is established, you can help them write a new ending that does not end in defeat but brings victory over fear.
Also art is an excellent tool for them as well.
Remember we are retraining the mind to see a safer picture.
You as the parent or guardian can help the child or teen in conjunction with their counselor.
Ask questions about supporting what they are being taught.
You want to help.
I would also recommend to you not to allow the child to be put on medication.
It dulls the senses and it is the emotions that need to heal.
Yes there is going to be fear to overcome and anger.
But it is natural process to the healing.
Why would you want to dull the healing? It is also important eventually for the child and teen to tell and proper actions be taken against the abuser.
The children and teens need to see that their is justice in this life for the crime committed against them.
Silence and sweeping it under the rug is not going to help the child or teen heal.
It will cause more anger and hurt that no one defended them.
Help children and teens gain control over areas of their lives again.
This is what will help them counter attack the fear.
Fear can be defeated and true freedom which is inside the human heart takes it's place