- One of the differences between raising biological and stepchildren is that stepparents should allow the natural parents to discipline their stepchildren. This is especially true when the stepparent first takes over the role of parent in the child's life. While a stepparent shouldn't necessarily refrain from providing any amount of discipline, the biological parent should remain in charge. Stepchildren may feel resentment toward someone they are not accustomed to thinking of as a parent. When the biological parent continues to provide the majority of the child's discipline, it increases the chance that he eventually will acclimate to the stepparent.
- It could be difficult for the stepparent and the stepchild to show affection toward each other. A new spouse should get to know her partner's children and let feelings develop naturally. It is more common for females to experience discomfort if they have to show public affection toward a new stepfather. There is also the possibility that stepchildren will perceive that a stepparent favors his biological children when it comes to affection. Establishing an environment where everyone feels respected and valued is important.
- When children and stepparents begin to form relationships, a common recommendation is that the child should control how fast or slow it develops. Stepparents should refrain from being coercive and allow the child to take most of the initiative. Stepchildren should become aware that the new stepparent is there to support them. Open and honest communication among all family members is crucial, and both parents should make it clear that they are a team.
- It is wise not to try to compete with a stepchild's biological parents. This rule of thumb primarily applies to the biological parent who does not live in the blended family's household. Unless there are dangerous or adverse circumstances surrounding the child's other biological parent, he should not feel discouraged from continuing a relationship. Under no circumstances should the stepchild feel like she needs to choose between a stepparent and a biological one.
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