NOTE: Although the term Aspergers is still in wide use, it is NOT in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM). Instead, you may see the term Autism Spectrum Disorder in your doctor's diagnosis.

Deciding when to tell a child about their diagnosis is a difficult decision for parents. Following are some things to consider when deciding when to discuss this with your child.

Before telling your child, give yourself time to prepare. If this diagnosis is new, give yourself a chance to get used to the idea, and to learn more about it. You do not need to be an expert on Aspergers, but you do need to have enough information to be reassuring and answer some of your child's questions. For example:
1.You may want to have a professional present, such as a therapist, school counselor, or someone else who is knowledgeable in this field.
2.Find out in advance what sorts of programs are available in your child's school.
3.Find out if your child is eligible for ABA therapy though your insurance company.
4.If these are not options, you may be able to locate some programs online that you can work on with your child.

This does not mean you need to have all of the answers or a complete treatment plan in place. Also, you do not need to immediately share all of this information with your child. However, it is important that you know some of the options that are available. If your child asks, you should have a few ideas of how you can help your child.

It is crucial that your child know this is not a horrible thing to have, and that, with help, he can lead a happy and successful life. It is also important that he realize that you are going to make sure he gets the help he needs to learn what he needs to know to lead a happy life. It is also crucial that you remind yourself of these things.

As soon as possible, introduce your child to different ways to have a calm body and a calm mind. This is a good time to introduce your child to mind-body techniques such as calm breathing, calm thinking, affirmations, progressive-muscular relaxation, guided imagery, or the other age-appropriate relaxation techniques. These techniques can help your child learn to calm himself when he is feeling anxious or getting ready to react in a negative or inappropriate manner. This will give your child a head start in learning how to have what ABA therapists call a calm body.

There are many CD/MP3s available that can help your child learn these techniques. If your child is very sensitive, listen to these BEFORE you play them for your child that way you can help your child practice calm breathing or other relaxation exercises when appropriate.

It is a also good idea to let your child's siblings listen to these recordings. Chances are this situation is effecting the siblings, and they need help coping with stress. Furthermore, having siblings listen can be encouraging to your child. Now is a good time for you to learn to have a calm mind and body too.

When your child seems to feel that he is different, it is time to explain the situation. There is a good chance your child will let you know when it is time by asking a question such as, €Why is it so hard for me to make friends?€ or €Why don't the other kids invite me to their parties?€ Remember that by the time your child asks you this question, he has probably been thinking about this for a while.

Keep in mind that although this is a difficult thing to tell your child, it is possible your child will be relieved to have an answer to his questions. Also, when you do tell your child, by using the suggestions in this article, you can frame this concept in a positive, reassuring, manner. Remember that you want to be the one who tells your child, you do not want him to have to guess or learn from someone else in an un-planned manner. Most experts agree you should share your child's diagnosis with him well before he is a teen

If they are older (such as teenagers or almost teenagers) your child may angrily deny that they have Aspergers, and refuse to discuss the matter or follow professional advice. This is more common in older children, such as teens. This is in large part due to their age; many teens do not want to feel they are €different' or need to make behavioral changes, such as monitoring their blood sugar if they have diabetes or learning social skills if they have Aspergers.