For many who aim to win an ex back the most trying part of it is overcoming the anguish and shame that came from the division, especially if you were dumped. It may very well be that part of the reason that you were let go was that you lacked self confidence. Whether you were solid before the break up or not, you may be at your weakest place.
The most tempting thing to do is to wear your heart on your sleeve. This may be the worst thing that you can do, though, and will not enable you to win an ex back. It may make it virtually hopeless to win and ex back.
Firstly, why is it that low self confidence is such a turn off and makes it difficult to win an ex back? The reality is it is just emotionally draining. Most people have enough of a challenging time dealing with aggravation from the world. They get beat up and have to constantly be bombarded by those who tell them they aren't high-quality enough or they don't have enough.
It could be that they are also just totally fatigued from having to deal with the stress and strains of routine, everyday life. The last thing they want is to shake off all that and run into just more of the same with someone they care about.
The depressed and down feelings are infectious. They want someone who is going to make them feel decent about not themselves but life in general. This is what is going to win an ex back.
If your ex sees you moping around all miserable they are not going to want to squander time with you. In reality you will be doing nothing but reminding them why you should be broken up in the first place. They will do what they can to elude you. You may be under the delusion that these moments can buy you sympathy points but that is a desperate ploy almost assured to result in failure. You will be a burden on them that they just don't want and will make it challenging to win an ex back.
What they want is what you want and that is someone who can help them deal with the challenges of every new day. Someone who is going to be solid with them and that makes them solid, helping to move the heaviness of this thing called life. They want to have someone that they can conquer the job with.
They need to see that you have that spirit in you. This is what is going to make you someone that they want to take with them. Live life with certainty and even if you don't win an ex back you will come through much happier and be found as a proficient match for someone else. Your goal is to win an ex back, the best way to do that is to turn into a person that your ex feels confidence in.