Just been dumped? Sorry to hear it.
Be careful not to act like a jerk.
Here are the essential Dos and Donts for the newly dumped.
DON'T BE TOO HARD ON YOURSELF It is understandable to feel low and down on yourself when you've just broken up with someone.
But getting dumped does not mean that there is something wrong with you.
Try not to be so hard on yourself.
Make a list of all the great things you are, no matter how trivial.
You might be a great friend, sibling, or the best cappuccino maker in the office.
Maybe you are the only one who can spend a day at the beach and not end up with a mosquito bite.
Making a list like this may seem dumb and pointless but at the subconscious level you are reinforcing positive messages about yourself and this will start to come through on the conscious level.
DON'T BEG Have you ever seen a great salesman beg for business? "Oh please, please, pretty please buy this, I beg you".
Begging is not sexy, it is not effective and it will make you feel worse about yourself.
Just don't do it, don't! DON'T ACT DESPERATE You might not be on your hands and knees begging to get back with your loved one, but you can still look desperate.
For example, you might make unsubtle hints about how some other person fancies you, or how you're doing great at work and starting to earn lots of money.
Desperation is just as unattractive as begging: to your ex of to anyone new you hope to meet.
It is far better to show your ex what they are missing.
A hot, confident being, not a miserable, desperate person.
So no matter how bad you feel inside, try and act happy.
You can always cry into your pillow at home, or with a close friend or professional counselor.
DON'T LET YOUR LIFE STOP Feeling miserable is perfectly understandable but you cannot wallow in self-pity for days on end.
It may not seem like it now, but your love life is not the only side of your life.
There is work, health, friends, hobbies and a lot more.
Try to get back into a routine no matter how bad you feel.
DON'T EXPECT MIRACLES Your ex might suddenly call you up and say they regret the whole thing and please come back to them.
Or perhaps you will bump into Cameron Diaz, or Johnny Depp at the gas station and they will fall head over in heels with you.
This might happen.
Nothing is impossible as they say.
However, you must also be realistic.
Were you a terrible partner? Did you argue all the time? Do you have nothing in common? Are you completely different life goals e.
g they want kids and you can't even stand them? DON'T OVER ANALYZE It is good to learn from your mistakes but the breakup might not be your fault or anyone's fault for that matter.
It could be simply that you are both different personalities with different values, interests, life goals or in different stages of your life.
Here's the things to do when you have just been dumped: DO GIVE YOURSELF SOME DISTANCE You need to get away from your ex's memory and their presence.
Even if you want to try to get back with them.
You need to be able to stand back from the relationship and look at it without emotions getting in the way.
DO EVALUATE THE RELATIONSHIP JUST DON'T WALLOW IN IT Once you have given yourself some distance, you can begin to figure out why the relationship fell apart in the first place.
This isn't an invitation to assign blame.
You can figure out what went wrong (and what went right) for the next relationship, or to patch up this one.
DO HAVE A LAUGH Remember Sex And The City The Movie, when Sarah Jessica Parker's character Carrie has just been dumped by Mr Big and she asks when she will laugh again? Well, it might seem impossible, but she did laugh again.
(I won't spoil the movie by telling you what made her laugh, just rent out the movie and you will find yourself chuckling at that scene too).
Remember what makes you happy and do it.
A great meal with close friends, watching your favorite comedy, a new haircut or spa treatment.
You might have to force yourself into it, but if you pick an activity which is distracting and demands your full attention, you will find yourself having fun again.
DO CONSIDER COUNSELING Professional counseling is still a social stigma to some.
It might feel like weakness to seek professional help, but you can book an appointment without having to tell anyone.
A good relationship therapist has the experience, tools and patience to help you.
Ask your doctor for recommendations.
DO GIVE YOUR EX SOME SPACE You need to get back your own character, confidence and strength and so does your ex.
Getting you and your ex some space means that you can let go of the trivial stuff and petty arguments surrounding your relationship and reflect on what happened with an emotional distance.
DO GET YOUR REVENGE.
BUT NOT IN THE WAY YOU MIGHT THINK If there is nothing you can do to get back with your loved one, then get your revenge by looking irresistible, being confident and moving on with style!