It's been a growing trend over the last 20-30 years that people are moving further and further away from professional medical and psychological help. We're turning more and more to self help and personal development to fix our problems. Now I don't see this as a problem, but it does hold a lot of people back when they try to cure their social anxiety.

The problem with social anxiety self help is that people assume that they have to cure their problems all on their own. It's easy to see why. It's "self help" right? Not "get someone else to do it for you help." But trying to face your problem totally on your own is the biggest mistake you can make when it comes to self help because you don't have the skill set yet to tackle this problem.

The Need for the Proper Skill Set

Let's say that you wanted to teach yourself to play the piano, what's the first thing you would do? You'd probably go out and buy a book or some instructional tapes, right? And why? Because the only other option is to sit down at the piano, bang on some keys and hope you figure it out at some point.

I know that sounds stupid, but that's how many people handle social anxiety self help. They assume that at some point, if they just try a little harder, they'll eventually figure out how to get over their fears and instantly become a "people person."

The truth is that just doesn't work. You see, social anxiety is a cycle that will constantly feed itself until you find out how to stop it in its tracks. The more you let your social anxiety keep your from social interactions, the stronger your anxiety will become and the more it will keep you lonely.

This is the skill set you have right now; a skill set for anxiety. You can't know or be anything else as long as this is the skill set you are operating with; just like the beginning piano player can't play Mozart without learning the skill set for it. You need to develop a new skill set that you can then use to reach new social connections and break the cycle of social anxiety.

So how do you do this?

Well, the best way to go about it is to find a strategy or a guide. Just like that piano player would find an instructional video; you should find something that can teach you the skills you need to get started. Now I know this may seem like it's going against the "self help" side of this article, but I still encourage that you do the work yourself. What you're doing is still self improvement, but now you'll have a guide to follow to help you get where you want to be.

If you want to learn more about why this kind of skill set is important, you can read more about social anxiety self-help over at my website. You can also read about how I fought against my social anxiety and get some great free tips.