- 1). Speak to the stepmother politely. Acting rude, antagonizing or arguing will make the situation worse. Ignore or deflect her rude comments. For example, if she says that the food isn't as good as the type served at another wedding, deflect the question by asking if you can get her a beverage.
- 2). Ask a good friend or a family member to keep an eye on the rude stepmother. Select someone who isn't argumentative and can diffuse situations. This works for stepmothers known to act rudely. The person selected can divert the stepmother's attention.
- 3). Give the stepmother something to do at the wedding. Sometimes a person may act rudely if she feels as if she's omitted from the wedding. Handing out programs or handing out bubbles work well. If the behavior appears at the reception, putting her in charge of the guestbook or gift table will give her something to do.
- 4). Avoid the stepmother. Sometimes other methods won't work and you just have to avoid her. For the bride and groom, this may seem difficult, but it is possible. Talking to guests, dancing, eating, taking pictures and other activities take up a lot of the couple's time. You should only try avoidance if the other methods don't work, as it has the potential to create problems later.
- 5). Ask the stepmother to leave. If her rudeness is inexcusable and she won't stop, then she needs to leave. First speak to her about the problem and if she doesn't improve, she needs to leave. Types of rude behavior that would warrant her dismissal include racist comments, intentional sabotaging, harassment and insults to the bride and groom.
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