Grief and Loss Overview
by Maurice Turmel PhD

An overview of grief and loss shows us that this is a broad category of life experience. We usually associate it with death and dying, but it can include losing your employment and broken relationships as additional categories that generate the grief experience. Grief and loss comes in a multiplicity of dimensions that affect our daily lives.

Losing a loved one is what we typically associate with grief and loss. But losses of many types can also generate powerful grief reactions. We include here broken relationships, loss of a pet and loss of employment. When the loss experience strikes we immediately want relief and begin seeking some kind of recovery help.

We now understand that losing a loved one is only one aspect of grief and loss. Relationship breakups, divorce, loss of the family pet, getting fired and losing a business are all causes that generate the grief and loss experience. Such losses are rarely associated with the main grieving category, but in fact, they do share many common denominators as the primary experience of death of a loved one.

This article aims to point out the many common denominators grief and loss reveals over all of the above related dimensions. We grief our loved ones. We mourn the loss of the family pet. We suffer over a recent breakup. We fall into depression over the loss of our job or business.

What is the central point here? Why do we examine grief and loss from all these points of view? Because at the heart of every crisis is an emotional wound. We feel hurt, depressed and sad. We feel lost and afraid. Something we valued has been taken away. We feel pain associated with any loss and that usually elicits anger as a first response. These reactions are typical in every type of grief and loss experience.

It becomes obvious that grief and loss affects many aspects of our life experience. Acknowledging this and accepting responsibility for our recovery from such stress reveals itself as necessary. We can regain our energy and drive by working through the effects of grief and loss. Since the experience is more common than previously thought, any effort we make to deal with grief and loss will have benefits across the breadth of our lives.

Growing, expanding and losing are part of the life cycle. A snake crawls into the tall grass in order to shed its old skin. Why? Because the new underneath is pressing for release. Each cyle of our life presents circumstances in which we lose something to gain something better. Letting go is a tough life lesson, but essential to our growth. The old must die so that the new can be born.

Grief and loss over the death of a loved one is a singularly powerful event. This type of loss is probably the most difficult we have to endure. But grief and loss, in other forms, is with us every day. Learning to cope with grief and loss, in all its forms, will help enormously when we face the loss of loved ones. A good grief and loss resource can immediately mitigate the experiences most devastating effects.

Recovery from grief and loss, in all its varied forms, requires that we deal with our emotions. When we are emotionally vulnerable we can find a deeper meaning to life and acquire new and lasting friendships where we initially saw hurt and sorrow. Every loss carries a benefit, even if it takes years to uncover. Letting go emerges as grief and loss' primary lesson.