See the invisible.
This advice is so profound, yet not too many of our fellow life members want to even let it through their minds.
Quite often, we look at the symptoms (visible) and not at the root cause (invisible) of what is happening.
Infidelity is not any different.
I had an opportunity to hear something last week, what caused a chain reaction of comparisons.
For example, sickness and medicine, sin and "sinhood", they follow the same pattern.
There is a situation which shows itself through symptoms, we correct the symptoms.
We correct what is visible.
Symptoms are visible, they cause our immediate reaction.
What we don't do is spend time on the root cause of the problem.
It goes for infidelity as well.
Unspoken words, missed eye contact, small, innocent (?) lies, harsh words, those are the visible symptom which are the fruit of an invisible mental and emotional war zone.
Unfortunately, we choose to ignore those small ones.
We are waiting for the bad news.
The act of cheating starts long before it actually happens.
Let's use addiction as a comparison.
We "lapse" long before we reach out for our substance of choice.
So following this train of thoughts, the simplest advice is, in order to minimize the chance of infidelity, be proactive, be present in the life of your partner and yours, and invite him/her to your life into all what is happening.
Don't pre-judge what is important or not, they will choose anyway.
Develop a nest where you don't relapse.
Marriage is not a one person sport competition.
The point is not to show who is better, who counts more.
Instead of competing, let the partner be him/her self.
Marriage is meant to be a team event.
You invited him/her into your life, just like he/she invited you, keep it that way.
It is human nature to always look for something, and so it is in relationships.
Give your partner enough reasons to look within the four walls of your home you are building day in day out.
No one said it was going to be easy, or static, or effortless.
Nothing is.
Good news does not sell, the bad one does.
Don't fall into that trap in your marriage; you don't need "extra, extra, read all about it" in your relationship.
You need quiet conversation of hearts.
It is so common to bring negative behaviors from work into the family settings, playing bosses, competing, directing, and demanding.
There is nothing worse than unhealthy competition between partners.
Useless telling someone what to do, when and how to, only kills the relationship and the ego of the other person.
Less control more trust and respect will get you further ahead.
In today's world of transformation we talk more and more about language of hearts.
I am a strong supporter of it.
On a personal note, from my young days, I always felt I have to speak many languages, I never thought of the language of heart, now I understand it is the universal language, the only one we need.