Recently, as my family gathered over Mom's vegetarian lasagna, hot buttery rolls and a large green salad, three generations began lively conversation about politics, elections and football.
The topic of apologizing came up and the conversation grew even more lively.
Now anyone who knows me well knows that I have a certain proclivity for apologizing a lot.
If my boys have had an issue at school, I'll say, "honey, I'm sorry that happened.
" If the boys don't obey their dad, I'll say, "Ooh, I'm sorry sweetie.
" If I see a friend and they tell me of some problem in their life, I'll simply apologize for them having that issue in their day.
I realize I drive people nuts by doing this.
But truly, I AM SORRY! I feel so bad for people and the situations they face that I just apologize for it.
Even though my family knows me better than anyone, they don't understand me and my apologetic ways.
My cousin told us about a scenario at work and I felt bad for him, so I said..
..
you guessed it, "I'm sorry.
" Which brought up the question I hear many times.
He said, "Why are you sorry Andrea? You didn't have anything to do with it.
" At which point the flood of inquiries came.
"Why do you always say you're sorry? She'll says she sorry to everyone! Why do you do that? I just shrugged and said "I don't know, I feel bad for people.
" Our conversation continued and we began discussing why it's so hard for most people to apologize when they've done something wrong either intentionally or unintentionally.
We had a good debate on whether a person should apologize when they hadn't 'meant' to harm another person.
Case in point, is a couple of brothers that I know.
They've been best friends since birth and do many things together.
This may be confusing, but stay with me.
Number one brother said something to number two's brothers wife that was true, but nevertheless, didn't need to be said.
Now, brother two won't speak to brother one until he apologizes.
Heartache has ensued for both families, immediate and extended.
Romans 12:18 states, "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
" (NIV) What an exhortation for us all! If it's up to us, be at peace with EVERYONE! I don't know about you, but God has been increasingly laying this fact upon my heart - TIME IS SHORT!! Beloved, stubbornness doesn't produce anything positive.
Over time it can fester inside of us, causing stress, ulcers and depression.
Our enemy seeks "to kill and steal and destroy.
" Jesus said, "I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.
" John 10:10 (NIV) Satan desires to kill our joy, steal our relationships and destroy our health.
God desires just the opposite: a life full of abundant joy, healthy relationships and less stress.
In the 1970's movie Love Story, Ali McGraw makes the infamous statement of "love means never having to say you're sorry.
" No offense to Ali, but she was dead wrong! God desires for us to humble our hearts, get rid of our 'stiff necks' and treat others as we want to be treated.
That means apologizing when we've hurt someone, whether we meant to or not.
Proverbs 16:18 states, "Pride goes before destruction, a haughty spirit before a fall.
" It's pride that keeps us from apologizing.
What we have to do is recognize it for what it is.
When my sweet husband is avoiding a situation and doesn't want to deal with it, I'll say to him, "Now honey, you've just got to take this bull by the horns and deal with it.
" He loves to hear that!! Ha! Ha! It's not music to his ears, but it's the truth.
Sweet friends, I encourage you today if you need to make an apology, to 'just grab the bull by the horns and do it.
' A sincere apology takes less than sixty seconds.
It doesn't cost us a penny and causes no pain to our bodies.
The results will generally be positive, can potentially bring real healing and have life changing results.
You can do it!! James 4:10 says, "Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
" What an awesome promise! If we humble ourselves and get rid of our stiff necks, then Jesus Himself will lift us up.
Glory! It doesn't get better than that.