We've all heard it said many times that "life is not fair.
" No one that I know has been so fortunate as to never think that life is MORE unfair for them than for others.
For those who have recently learned that their unborn child is going to have problems the unfairness of it can be overwhelming.
Those depressing feelings of disappointment can be used to "even the playing field" and to restore light and hope in life and the future.
If you have recently discovered that your child is not going to be perfect, your world is most likely a dark and painful place.
Having been there myself, I can relate to how you're feeling.
It can be difficult to acknowledge that you can even have such dark and painful feelings.
So, I'm here to say that it's a natural part of the human experience and there is a goodness in it.
It's okay to be disappointed, frightened, and even angry.
In fact, it is an important part of the healing process.
Allow me to explain.
The "typical" parent doesn't plan to bring a "defective" child into this world.
And when you found out that it was going to happen to you and your child, your dreams were likely crushed.
It's not something that you embrace and get all happy about.
On the contrary, you should feel disappointed, but it is critical to be disappointed about the right things.
You should be disappointed that your child is going to suffer from a birth defect.
Now, consider the feelings you have for the child, no matter what it's condition.
It's easy to let those feelings blend together and the disappointment is powerful..
You must separate your feelings for the child from your feelings about what ill-fate has dealt to you and your child.
If you are NOT disappointed that your child is going to have a defect then it would be easy to infer that you DON'T care about your child.
So, in a twisted way, the MORE that you are disappointed about your child's plight, the MORE you are manifesting your Love and Concern for your child's well-being.
The purpose of admitting and expressing your disappointment is to get PAST it! Put it out there and move on.
Put it in the rear-view mirror.
Eventually, you'll leave it behind.
This is a process that takes repeating.
You will experience disappointment MANY times even if you think you have gotten past it.
You will feel like you have a hole where your disappointment was ripped out.
Recognize your disappointments as LOVE and HOPE for your child.
Put your LOVE for your child into the hole that this purging process creates.
It will make the path that you and your child travel so much smoother.